Parents fulfilling their UNREALIZED AMBITIONS through their children
Child in School
Child is admitted in play school, nursery or KG, when poor fellow may be as young as two & half. In fact, it is before his/her brain is fully developed. Henceforth, full pressure of studies, competitiveness, grades is ‘on’. As he grows, there is heavier and heavier pressure of curriculum and syllabus on him while he still cannot wipe his nose. For the child to do well in school, then college or university, becomes a question of life and death, more so for parents, who club family’s reputation with child’s academic performance and his resultant success and admission to various prestigious professional institutions.
Parents and Children’s Achievement
Biggest calamity falls when child fails some exam. Most parents are totally crest-fallen, thinking that everything is lost. You can imagine the condition of hapless child, who might have worked very hard. He finds the newly emerged situation very painful but has nowhere to go. This is a great setback to child’s psyche and confidence. No one cares, what are child’s interests and talents, nothing but only syllabus, tut ions and coaching classes are the order of the day.
It’s great Indian ‘Bhed-chaal’ (following the sheep in front, blindly), in which only aping others, finds prominence. It’s really sickening, when you look at it closely. Attitude of most parents is totally selfish, basically to ‘enhance their own or family’s prestige’ in the society or in their circle of friends. Child’s interest, growth and development are heartlessly forsaken for the family’s show-off or to satisfy parents’ ego. Most parents want their child to achieve what they could not.
Worst is the ‘cut-off’ marks syndrome. A child, who is good and participates in many other activities apart from studies, scoring one mark less, does not get selected, while another child whose sole preoccupation is mugging up books and answers questions exactly as written in the books, gets selected for the coveted seat. Almost no credit is given for any extra-curricular activity such as communication skills, debating or essay writing skill, sporting activities, leadership or organizing skills or hundred other activities, which play lead roles in later life. How much world has changed in last seven decades, but we are continuing with the same rotten & long obsolete education system.
Essential qualities help the child later in life
Essential qualities which help the child later in life such as Discipline, Character, Ethics, Morals, Values, Consideration for others, being Helpful and Kind and other such qualities which makes them better Human Beings, are totally ignored. Child’s upbringing is totally on a Selfish Mode. For the child, initially Family means his Parents and Siblings. But as he starts earning and is married, family means his wife and his own children only not the parents who brought him up.
Parents and Children
These days, older people keep complaining about the changed Attitude of their very own Sons whose preferences and priorities have changed by now. Blame lies with child’s upbringing by the same Parents who, to start with, wanted to FULFILL THEIR UNREALIZED DREAMS THROUGH THEIR CHILDREN.
Capt Ravi Mahajan Retd.
(Excepts from our book ‘WHAT THEY DON’T TEACH IN EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTIONS’)
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